Safe Haven of Pender, Inc.

provides food, clothing, shelter, services, and referrals to women, children, and on occasion men, who are the victims of domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

  • name-calling or putdowns
  • isolation
  • withholding money
  • actual or threatened physical harm
  • sexual assault
  • stalking

Sexual Assault is any unwanted sexual contact or attention achieved by force, threats, bribes, manipulation, pressure, tricks or violence. It may be physical or non-physical and include rape, attempted rape, incest and child molestation, and sexual harassment. Sexual assault is a crime of violence, anger, power and control where sex is used as a weapon against the victim. Sexual assault, or rape, is a violent crime, not a sexual act.

SEXUAL ASSAULT STATISTICS

  • Every ninety seconds, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.
  • 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
  • Approximately 68% of rape victims knew their assailant.
  • 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives.

29% of female victims reported that the offender was a stranger.

Is Your Partner Abusing You? Does Your Partner….

  • Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
  • Put down your accomplishments or goals?
  • Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions? Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
  • Tell you that you are nothing without them?
  • Treat you roughly -grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
  • Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
  • Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
  • Pressure you sexually?
  • Prevent you from doing things you want -like spending time with your friends or family?

Do You…

  • Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
  • Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
  • Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
  • Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
  • Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
  • Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up? If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

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