Success Stories
The fear is gone!
About a month ago, I reached out to a Safe Haven Advocate. I was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally from living a life of abuse. For years, I felt like a bird trapped in a cage. I was constantly told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed like everything I did was wrong.
The abuse began emotionally but slowly escalated into physical violence over the course of two years. Coming from a difficult upbringing, I tried to excuse his behavior. I convinced myself that maybe this was just what love looked like. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t right.
Everything changed when a friend told me about Safe Haven’s support group. Listening to other survivors and learning about abuse opened my eyes. I realized that what I was going through wasn’t love, it was control, manipulation, and fear. It was abuse. And even though some part of me already knew that, it had felt so familiar. So I stayed.
What held me back the most was fear; fear of the unknown, and fear of how I would survive with four children on my own. But when I learned about the resources Safe Haven offers, something shifted in me. I finally saw a way out.
Today, I’m living in a new apartment. It’s spacious, peaceful, and free of the painful memories that filled my old home. I finally left. I did what I thought I could never do.
I can’t even begin to explain the peace I feel now. My kids are happy, we don’t live under the heavy tension that used to fall over us every time my ex-husband walked through the door. The fear is gone. Our home is no longer heavy. We are finally free.
Safe Haven saved me not just from my situation, but from the harmful thoughts that convinced me I wasn’t strong enough to stand on my own. I now know that I am capable of anything. My mindset has transformed from hopeless to hopeful.
What I needed most was to be heard and believed.
For nine years, I endured emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. Looking back now, I feel a deep sadness that I didn’t realize just how bad it truly was. I often blame it on my youth, on my misunderstanding of what love really meant or looked like. I grew up in a loving and caring family, so I’m not sure why I was so eager to leave. Maybe it was because I thought I had found love.
When I married, I believed I had found someone who could do no wrong. I was blind to the signs. The first time he hit me, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that the man I loved, this seemingly kind, devoted husband, could ever lay a hand on me. But he did. And though it broke me inside, I convinced myself that I still loved him. The truth is, I loved the version of him he pretended to be.
To our family, neighbors, church members, and friends, he was the ideal husband and father. But behind closed doors, it was a different story. Living that double life felt like carrying a dark, heavy secret, one that made me feel like I was going crazy. I became a shell of the happy, light-hearted girl I once was. I was afraid to speak up because I kept thinking, “Who would believe me?” Everyone liked him, even my own family.
Everything began to shift the day I made a call to an advocate at Safe Haven. At the time, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. I had three children and no idea how I would make it on my own. I didn’t know what I would say to my family and friends. But the advocate listened. She was patient, kind, and reassuring. She told me it was all up to me, and that gave me the strength to take the first step.
Leaving wasn’t easy. There are still incredibly hard days. My kids don’t fully understand why I left. Some of my church members have cut me off. Even some of my family, though they say they believe me, keep in touch with my abuser, and that hurts. But what I’ve learned through Safe Haven is that what I needed most was to be heard and believed. And for the first time in a long time, I felt that.
I’m finally free. I’m slowly getting to know myself again. I’m learning what real love is, starting with the love I’m rebuilding within myself. Thanks to the resources and support from Safe Haven, I’m focused on my mental health and moving forward with my children. I don’t know what the future holds, but for the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to it.
Thank you to the entire Safe Haven staff, not just for the referrals, but for so much more. Thank you for listening to the ugly cries on the other end of the line. Thank you for your reassurance, your patience, and your empathy during the moments I felt the most broken and confused.
Most of all, thank you for validating what I was going through. You made me feel seen, heard, and believed; I am forever grateful.
There is help available.
Domestic violence is a harsh reality that many women face, but finding a way out can feel impossible. For one survivor, the journey to freedom was filled with fear, pain, and uncertainty. But with the right support, she was able to rebuild her life and find hope again. This is her story.
For years, she was isolated from the world. Her abuser controlled her every move—keeping her from working, cutting her off from her family, and subjecting her to constant violence. The emergency room became a familiar place, sometimes visited twice a week due to the injuries he inflicted. Feeling trapped, she ran. From Wilmington to Jacksonville, NC, she tried to escape his reach. A local shelter helped her find a house, but the physical and emotional toll of her abuse left her struggling to keep up with bills. The pain was unbearable, and without resources, she began to consider returning to her abuser just so she would have a roof over her head. “I often thought to myself, ‘This man is going to kill me one day.’”
Just when hope seemed lost, she learned about Safe Haven, an organization dedicated to helping domestic violence survivors regain stability and independence. They stepped in and gave her what she needed most—a safe place to live. Safe Haven not only provided housing but also helped with bills, ensuring that she never had to consider returning to her abuser again. “If it weren’t for them, I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t be here today.” Through Safe Haven, she found not just security, but a new sense of purpose. She realized that her story could help others, just as Safe Haven helped her.
Her abuser has since been arrested again for domestic violence. She encountered him once more at an emergency room when she went to visit her mother, and he immediately tried to harm her again. But this time, she wasn’t alone. She had Safe Haven standing with her, giving her the strength to keep going. Now, she is determined to use her experience to help other women find their way out of abusive situations. She wants to share her story so that others know they are not alone and that there is hope for a better future. “Safe Haven helped me keep going, and I want to do the same for others.”
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there is help available. Organizations like Safe Haven provide life-saving support, ensuring that survivors can escape abusive situations and rebuild their lives. This survivor’s journey is proof that no one has to go through it alone. With the right support, healing is possible. If you need help, reach out. You deserve safety, peace, and a future free from abuse.
I will bless each of you.
Y’all gave me back my hope. There is a future for me that holds a home for me of my own, that I can support my children and have them back with me where they belong, and then we can begin healing as a family. There have also been a few speakers to come and talk to us about empowerment. I noticed how they drew their strength and power from God, too. It all comes full circle back to the one who created us. This place would not probably exist but for the mercy and grace, and the power of God, and the people whose lives chose to do his work. I will bless each of you until the day I die.
Funded In-Part By
Safe Haven of Pender empowers survivors of domestic violence to reclaim control and build self-sufficiency. Since 1988, we’ve provided shelter, advocacy, and resources while working to break the cycle of abuse, raise awareness, and hold abusers accountable.